#Why do i have to still be awake | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

courfee · 7 months ago

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“Regulus would be proud of us,” James whispered quietly to no one in particular, still gripping onto the painting like a life raft.

— Tender Curiosities, Baby! @otrtbs

#tender curiosities baby #art heist baby #james potter fanart #james potter #jegulus #rosekiller #rosekiller fanart #marauders #marauders fanart #evan rosier #barty crouch jr #jegulus fanart #jegulus fanfiction #fic: ahb #art heist baby!#mine #my art #hp #ahb #ive thought about this scene for so long it just took me forever to draw cause once again the anatomy of cars is the bane of my existence #like originally i wanted evan and barty holding hands to be visible to have the contrast of sad lonely james and sad not lonely rosekiller #but alas cars wont allow it #ahb just still has my entire heart you dont get it #i have a none blurry rosekiller and a just james in front of blue with stars version of this but i think ill only put them on insta...#(sneaky end notes: i do have to admit i am not too pleased with evan and barty but this was my first time drawing them)#(so i couldnt figure it out quite yet hency why they look a little. less efforty...)#(also the snake ring is the same design that i drew for chapter 34 of ahb in my little chapter illustrations for my typeset)#((nvm i just checked back and i am fully lying here i used a different one for my typeset and now im vaguely upset oops)#(i shouldnt make decisions only half awake im going to think about this for too long now i am sad))#((like suddenly i was like. hold up. i had a different design there didnt i... it was an open ring goddamnit))

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sunnymainecoon · 2 months ago

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And errr whatever this guy is

#I want to make a lot of things. but making a lot of things takes a lot of work and a lot of time #I love feeling pressured by time !!#I'm young. so I shouldn't feel that way. but time has literally passed by so fast I still feel like I'm 11 #that's was years ago bro. I need to remmeber I'm growing up #idk school makes me really tired #I just get so exhausted. even just at the thought of it #school takes away half my days. makes me feel like I have less time #that's why I end up staying awake at night. but I'm tired I don't wanna do that :(#well erm my bday was pretty nice though so yeah it's probably fine #killer sans #horror sans #sans au #utmv #undertale au #i wanna be cool I think to myself #ms paint

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hyakunana · 3 months ago

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The Former Most Miserable Man That Ever Stepped in DGP is found saving the future with a shield and FIVE CHAINSAWS

#kamen rider #kamen rider geats #kamen rider buffa #plosion rage #michinaga azuma #jyamato awaking #fanart #artists on tumblr #alt caption: The Former MMMTESinDGP is found fathering a godling #maybe a good thing I got late into geats is that the frustration of buffa not having a final form in the series was softened on impact #as well as his development that was left opened in series I guess?? and he was given some closure on the movie #besides i actually do love the final arc??? still filled with issues and plot holes and ep45 being a huge mess #but i ignore them and focus on buffa and bujin sword slow burn being cooked on undead fire and i'm well served #series isn't perfect nor is the movie but i collect what i love and i run away with it #narrator: and then op runs away having 20 of 22 files in her geats art folder featuring michinaga so far #why am i justifying myself liking the final arc?? i owe no explanations - who cares xckvncxvncxovx #anyway heads up for the chosen ones reading tags #my job is returning full force this week - so expect my updates to drop severely #slow pacing work was fun while it lasted - time to get stressed a bit so i can finish paying my apartment lol

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shorthaltsjester · 1 year ago

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free my complex female character, she did the same thing as complex male characters but the fandom takes Any analysis of her actions/choices/motivations that doesn’t strip her of all of her agency in bad faith and claims that only misogynists would dare to critique the things that they’ve noticed in her character because she’s a woman, completely ignoring the over-presence of discourse about similarly traited male characters in their fandom.

#exhausted by people categorizing CRITIQUE. not even genuine hate just literally basic analysis of imogen’s character #as a) hate at all but b) misogynistic simply because… they assume the person like caleb and percy uncritically like #i love imogen and i love her because she’s riddled with complexity that gives reason for her to be unlikeable #the shit ashton says makes me want to tear out my hair and i could write analysis on why but they’re still one of my favourite characters #i enjoy caleb but watching him infuriated me because of his self interest which is a coherent trait of his but is a tiring one #similarly with percy of love his pretentious Smartest In The Room shit but sometimes it meant he treated others more poorly than necessary #but i’m not unpacking all of that just so i have some fandom mandated right to say that i think there’s an aspect of a female character #that is imperfect in the human sense #because like. i will continue to call imogen’s self interested until the world burns and the moon shatters. because she is.#the only reason her choice to do good is compelling at all is because the choice to do otherwise is so tangible #it isn’t a Mistake or Fault that she’s self interested. it’s by design #like. she reaches towards the storm in curiosity in her sleep. but then she fights back when she’s awake #that’s it #that’s the dynamic. that’s what’s compelling #but no ur right fandom. let’s instead all agree that imogen is actually just intrinsically good #and take away all agency and complexity and humanity from her #and instead slap a sticker of Morally Good and enjoy the caricature of her where she’s made to fit into the imagine of #the latest aesthetic ad for diarrhoea medication #imogen temult #critical role #inspired as always by dumbass twitter posts that i’m subjected to because of school n work #the worst part is i do like the laudna n imogen dynamic in the stagnancy where it is but so much of that fandom is so clear in their erosion #of both characters actuality to suit the picture of Ship Tropes #like fuckin. so much of imogen’s fanart in imodna making her fat which as a fat person great love to see it #not so much when it’s clearly to make her short n stout against laundas tall n lanky.#anyway

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sluckythewizard · 6 months ago

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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.

#cw gore #WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE #STILL A WIP #SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY #THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN #ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY #NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS #BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT #THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT #I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE #THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT #DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES #NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART #THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER #PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN #YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE #LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT #anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming #why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake #OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc #i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre

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rosaacicularis · 9 months ago

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thinking about scarian in the cactus ring actually

#i just….. THE POETRY #and it’s so and i and it and ughhhhh #you know #maybe i’ll be more coherent later today (i’m running on < four hours of sleep and have been awake for 8.5hrs and i still have 4hrs left of #my shift at work so i’m kinda brain dead rn…) but i’m still thinking about them which is kinda telling tbh #also i have written this entire post with my right pointer finger and my left pinky… do not ask why <3 #scarian

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puppyeared · 1 year ago

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ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

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benetnvsch · 4 months ago

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Hey… imagine Kunikida reuniting with rozuko,,,

#bsd 117 #bsd spoilers #bungou stray dogs spoilers #I was gonna say Sasaki too but let’s be real she’s probably Not Going to end up the same place as those two bc of uhh u know terrorism …#idk if knkd would be particularly to thrilled to see her and rozuko together anyway LMAO #BUT IMAGINE! Kunikida is just blinking awake in this strange white void- it’s peaceful #he doesn’t feel any pain or discomfort or anything he felt just moments ago at that sword’s mercy #but then he looks around and he sees- of all people- Rozuko staring at him from further along the white nothingness and oh. oh #he must have died #and rozuko can only stare in shock and disbelief and something very similar to almost terror as he asks quietly ‘what are *you* doing here?’#bc not enough time has passed #why does Kunikida still look so fucking young?#he can’t be gone #not yet #and still… there he stands before rozuko’s eyes again. looking no older than when he left him #IDK just food for though smiles

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meyerlansky · 1 month ago

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all i want out of life is a fucking HUD that can tell me what bullshit is causing whatever shitty feeling i'm currently experiencing so i can FIX IT

#exhausted! why? who knows!#did nothing today!#woke up with a headache! why? WHO KNOWS!#have been in bed in my nice dark room for six of the seven hours i've been awake #only got up to make myself and partner bagels!#still tired! still headache!#DO I NEED BETTER SLEEP? FLUIDS? WEED??? WHAT IS THE GODDAMN PROBLEM!!!

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crossbackpoke-check · 2 months ago

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Looks like that video is about a month & a half after The Trade and trevors broken ankle 😣

re: this video… anon 😭 i had suspicions but it is so much worse to have them confirmed that really was like. trevor’s first Public Appearance without jamie AND post-broken ankle which is traumatic in and of itself no wonder every beat reporter was like ‘oh yeah trevor’s just devastated’

wouldn’t you be miserable too if your best friend just got traded and your body betrayed you and what if it was maybe all your fault!!!

#bestie thank you so much for fact-checking me 🙏🙏🥰🥰 i love when y’all come in my inbox & answer the questions i yell into the void of my tag #we are Suffering about trevor TOGETHER in this house. if i scrolled all the way to the bottom of my drafts i think i could find even more #heartbreaking content from before The Trade but we don’t need to suffer that much otherwise the penguin cup of tea is really irish coffee #confirms ALL of my theories about miserable trevor leaning into mason for comfort because in some universes that’s THEIR boyfriend who left #liv in the replies #trevor zegras #mason mctavish #need to go lay on the floor about this one folks. do you think trevor said he would only do it if mason came if he could sit next to mason #right at the end where people were rushing out not stopping to talk tired by the end of the line and not even thinking just to guarantee he #wouldn’t get asked anything because he still has a hard time believing it’s real he keeps thinking jamie’ll be there especially w/his ankle #i’m sure he doesn’t have a great time with stairs so he probably will nap on the couch sometimes and that moment right when he first wakes #up to the bang of the door and he doesn’t quite know he’s awake yet and he thinks it’s jamie coming in? heartbreaker right there bud. sorry #ALSO because I can’t say it and leave it alone I almost put that last bit strictly in the tags but like. there’s gotta be some part of #trevor that knows it’s nothing to do with him but still naïvely believes that if he’d maybe been there if he hadn’t been injured things #could have worked out differently if he’d been there and it’s his fault his ankle broke and do you remember all the interviews jamie gave #about how you never think you’ll be traded and how strange it is to be moving and now i need you to take that naïveté times 1000 for trevor #who of course he never even pictures jamie leaving they were building the core together!!! why would they ever get rid of him!! and if only #trevor had been there to show how important jamie was. what would he have done? literally nothing but that does not stop the emotional guil #from enveloping trevor like a rain cloud and making him sit in mason’s apartment with ice cream bowl in hand. holistic treatment l

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possibly-in-wonderland · 1 month ago

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*opens up microwave and takes *him* out, burning myself in the process* IT'S DONE! Meet Bifrons (in his flesh vessel) and also the part of the reason DISC0RD couldn't find Jo and the kids :P

he's also Jo's..."boss"

(how do i draw men, this is is the first "detailed" drawing of a guy ive done help its 5 am and his lips loo weird i cant draw lips)

#DISC0RD P0STING #moots get it #hi moots #*high pitch voice* hi alice!#think im finally getting over my same face syndrome #sort of #eh #jesus fuck how many old people characters do i need #im 18 i don't need that many #well technically discord's like...7?#it didn't manifest into existence until about 7 years ago #and jackie is 20 something #the twins are in their early teens #I LIKE THESE OLD PEOPLE CHARACTERS I LIKE DRAWING WRINKLES ITS FUN #ok 40s not old i mean older characters #that would be an insult to my mom (hi mom plz get back on tumblr i miss u)#i doubt she will #fuck i might as well just stay up its already 5 am #*sips triple shot espresso while watching minecraft boiled one horror mods* i wonder why i'm still awake #*eats a bunch of sugar* its not like i have a bunch of energy #why am i still in the tags pOST THE DAMN POST

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godsfavoritescientist · 1 year ago

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Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.